I've seen you mention your wife before, and I'm sad to hear you've
lost her. I don't know how much involvement your wife had with your
BBS, but I think it's pretty cool your wife was supportive of your
BBS. I've tried to explain to my wife my BBS hobby and what my BBS
is, but I'm still not sure she fully understands it. One time she
also asked if it's really safe to have a computer at home accepting N>connections from people on the internet. My wife is 4 years younger
than me and has said she started using the internet when she was
younger, but she grew up in a small town that didn't have much in the
way of high-tech services, so I'm not sure if she ever used a BBS or
knew anyone who did. Neither of her parents are really tech-savvy
either, so she probably wouldn't have been around computers a whole
lot when she was growing up.
Ironically, we met on a BBS that was run by the local college 35 years
ago at the University Of Arkansas At Little Rock. The college is still
there, but the BBS is long gone. We were friends for 17 1/2 years, and
never thought about marriage, let alone to each other. We hit it off in
2002, got married in 2003, but I lost her to a heart attack 3 weeks shy
of our 4th anniversary in 2007.
While I handled the bulk of the work, I had 2 separate message
areas...one for males only called "The Barber Shop"...which I
managed...and one for females only called "The Beauty Shop"...which
she managed.
She loved the message areas, and especially the doorgames. We competed fiercely against each other in several games...and while she was a great winner, she was a sore loser (her Mom said she had always been that
way). <G> In fact, before I proposed to her (more on that in a moment),
I told her I was ahead of her in several games...and I thought to myself
"You know that means none for you tonight"...and she immediately said
what I was thinking!! I knew that I had someone special. :)
Now, when I first met her in 1985, I was over at her place, helping
her with a computer issue. She had a swivel chair on a threadbare rug,
and told me "Do Not Lean Back In The Chair". As a Type A Male, I didn't
listen <G>, and the chair tipped over with me in it, slicing my lower
back. She said, "Ok, take your shirt off", and she promptly broke out
the First Aid Kit, cleaning and swabbing the wound. A couple days later,
I had to go to the clinic for lower back pain, and after telling the
doctors what happened, they said "Whoever cleaned this wiped out any
chance of infection", and that stuck with me all these years.
Fast forward to 2002. I went to her place for a visit. She was already
a user on the BBS, and I had made her Co-Sysop. Anyway, she had a
dachshund, who loved me. <G> She asked me if I wanted to take the
"weiner widget" (she had a way with words) for a walk, and I said
"Sure". Now, he had one of those retractable leashes, which I thought
were great..."let the dog go in the poop filled grass, and let me stay
on the sidewalk or street".
Well, as I got back to her place, I was holding the leash in front of
my groin (that was my first mistake). The leash came off his collar,
retracted at full speed, and popped me squarely in the groin/genitals
area, sending me to the ground in pain...then the dog jumped on the
area, and looked at me as if to ask "Is something wrong??". :P You can understand why I have an aversion to them now. <G>
When she discovered I wasn't coming inside, she came out and found me
on the ground, with the dog next to me. Horrified, she asked what
happened, and I said "I got attacked by a leash". By this time, the pain
was throbbing, and I thought I was in mortal danger (as males can bleed
to death from an injury in that area...never mind both males and females
have the femoral artery down there, where a cardiac catheterization is
done).
So, when we got inside, I was in a fog. She asked me what I was doing,
and I said "gathering my thoughts". I confessed to her that I thought I
was in danger, and asked her to "look at my groin" (I was in too much
pain), so I dropped the pants and underwear in front of her. I thought
for sure she'd drop me like a hot rock for "exposing myself". I asked
her "Do you think any less of me??". She said "I give you credit for
your common sense. I would've called the paramedics, had I seen blood".
I knew *RIGHT THEN*, that *THIS WAS THE GIRL I WAS GOING TO MARRY*, and proposed 2 days later. She got a big embracing hug from me. :) (I get
tears in my eyes every time I recount this).
We had gone shopping at a (now former) K-Mart in southwest Little
Rock, and it was having a "Going Out Of Business Sale"...we got a set of wedding rings for $25 (they were originally over $150). At the time, I
was going to a different church than she was, but stayed at her church
through our marriage, as a courtesy to her...but left shortly after her
death, as I couldn't handle it emotionally.
Anyway, one Sunday, I came down there after being at my own church,
and only the preacher and his wife knew about our engagement. When I
walked in, the preachers wife (they also had a dachshund), gave me a big
hug and kiss. Several saw it, and probably wondered what was going on.
<G> This church had a potluck every other Sunday (church folks know how
to cook!)...and as it turned out, on that Sunday, there was a potluck.
After the service was over, the preacher asked for everyone's
attention...and it took a moment for the crowd to quiet down. Then he
said "We'd like to announce the engagement of Janice Elaine Harvey to
Daryl J.D. Stout". You could've heard a pin drop...and probably some
thought "WTH??!!" <G>
Before the wedding, my wife wanted everyone at the bridal shower,
which suited me fine. The best part was that besides gifts, they were
giving the new couple-to-be advice...but no one would sign their names.
Here are the 3 best ones...from 3rd to 1st -- the preachers wife, a
natural blonde, was reading these, and after she had read the last one,
she and I were as red as tomatoes!!
3) "Janice shouldn't be the only one with dish pan hands". Now, after
having worked Burger King for 5 years (40 years ago now), I was no
stranger to doing dishes, cleaning toilets, and taking out trash. I've
known some relationships where the men won't lift a finger on housework.
2) "Daryl, Pray for The Second Coming. Jan...Pray That It Is Soon!!".
1) "Violets Are Purple. Roses Are Red. When Daryl Is Blue; Jan, Head For
The Bed"!!
I said "Oh, $h!+", as the entire room erupted in laughter...so loud
that they didn't hear my expletive. Janice said "He's turning a much
brighter shade of pink than he normally does!!". I was never so
embarrassed in all my life!! :P
At the wedding, it was hard to keep the emotions in check, and I was
very nervous (I had never been married before). I put the engagement
ring, her wedding ring, and my wedding ring, on her finger...and was
about to blurt out "Where the Hell is the other one??!!" <G>
The Good Lord is so wise!! The preacher said "You're not supposed to
put all the rings on her finger!!"...to which I said "Oops!!"...that
brought another round of laughter!! <G> But, when I sang "The Vows Go Unbroken", there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
When I did the same song at her parents place in Apopka, Florida (just outside Orlando), to meet her family...when I got to the lyric "Though
I have been tempted; No, I have never strayed"...one of her cousins said
"Oh!! He's been tempted!!", I nearly said "Oh, $h!+" again!! <G>
At the time, I was still in the GT Power BBS Network, on dial-up. One
of the echoes was known as "Married With Modem"...so we became known as
"The Married With Modem Sysops". In fact, one of the bulletins on the
BBS, "Marriage On The BBS" was penned by her.
Her eyesight wasn't the best, but she spotted errors, typos, etc. in
the bulletins that I missed. She had a Bachelors and Masters Degree in Psychology...noting "I like a challenge" <G>.
I should've known better than to mess with her. One night, I was being
a smart @$$, and said to her "My head is so far up my butt, that I can
see my throat". Without missing a beat, grinning wryly, she said "No
wonder your eyes are brown!!" <BG> I wasn't mad at her, as I was "asking
for it", but I didn't expect her to come back with such a zinger.
She had a defective aortic heart valve since birth, and a heart attack
3 weeks shy of our 4th anniversary, took her life at 48. The last thing
we said to each other was "I love you". :'(
I have dedicated the BBS to her memory...and I have all the wonderful memories that no one can take away. She really set the bar high on relationships (never mind the tagline below <G>), and I doubt (at nearly
60 now), I'll ever marry again.
I've dated a few women since her death, but at this point in life,
most have "too much baggage" (physical, emotional, etc.)...such as them
or their kids having been in trouble with the law, in jail, kids
treating the parents like crap, etc. -- and I don't want or need that
"drama" in my life.
The hobbies are my therapy, and she was active with the BBS. She
wanted to be active in ham radio, and was studying for her license at
the time of her death...and wanted to start square dancing, as she saw
the value of the exercise. I truly had a gem of a woman...and I miss her
to this day. But, with all the crap I've been through lately, I'm glad
she and my parents, all now dead and gone, aren't here to see me suffer.
Daryl
* OLX 1.53 * Don't raise the bar!! It's too hard to get the drinks!!
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